


Happier

by satiricalScythe



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Hank's unhealthy coping mechanisms, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, I wrote this while running on 52 hours of no sleep, Injury, M/M, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Songfic, android body horror, character injury, communication errors, eventually, if i should tag something just let me know please i suck, songfic i think, though that doesn't play a huge part, uhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 23:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19119772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satiricalScythe/pseuds/satiricalScythe
Summary: Lately, I've been, I've been thinking, I want you to be happierI want you to be happierEverything has been going great after the revolution, and then it dips. Hank pushes Connor away for fear of trapping him, while Connor believes he is the cause for things getting worse with Hank.





	Happier

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry not sorry, this is completely self-indulgent. I honestly wish I could have written it better, but I kind of suck :')

Connor had been delighted when, after the android's revolution had succeeded in starting a series of events that would hopefully lead to a better life for androids everywhere, Lieutenant Hank Anderson had offered him a place in his home. "I cleaned out Cole's bedroom," Hank said, sounding a little choked at the admission. "If you want, you can stay. Uh. With me, that is. In his old room."

To say that Connor had been shocked was an understatement. He knew that Hank still struggled with the loss of his son, so to learn that he had finally faced that - and faced it for _Connor_ \- well. He was fairly certain his systems had ceased all function for at least .639 milliseconds. Needless to say, he had agreed.

"I would appreciate that greatly, Lieutenant. Thank you."

"It's Hank. Come on, Connor. Let's go home."

* * *

Connor moving in with Hank had turned out to be beneficial for them both. Connor didn't quite fit in with the androids in New Jericho, though Markus had insisted that Connor would be welcome there, but really he had nowhere else to go - except for Hank's, now. Living with Hank was great. The lieutenant made him feel welcome, in his own gruff way, feel at home in a way he didn't feel with the Jericho androids or any humans.

On top of that, he got to see Sumo every day, and that was a blessing in and of itself.

For Hank, having the android around kept him sane, despite Connor being at fault for most of his insanity in the first place. Honestly, if the RK800 pushed _one more_ salad at him, he would lose it. But admittedly, that had its benefits as well. In the couple of months that Connor had been living there, he had already started losing weight, and in the last chase he had been in, he had noticed that it was a bit easier to keep up. Not as easy as he'd like, of course, but baby steps.

He was drinking less as well, also at Connor's urging. He still drank, of course, but now it wasn't with the intention of going until he couldn't remember his own name. The android was helpful in other ways as well, helping in keeping the place picked up and taking Sumo out for the long walks the old dog deserved every day. "It's the least I can do, Lieutenant," the android would insist with that silly fucking smile. "And besides, I enjoy it."

 

 _Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_  
_I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier_

 

Of course, all good things must come to an end. Life was great - too great. Now it was just a matter of waiting for the other shoe to drop, Hank thought. He had told Connor he could stay as long as he needed, but what if the android had taken that to mean that he had to stay? The android had earned his freedom with the rest of the deviants, he deserved to be free like the rest of them.  
Hank wanted to bring it up, but he was scared. He was scared that bringing it up would confirm that Connor was only there out of some sense of obligation. Hank wanted Connor to be free and happy, but.

But he was selfish. He didn't want his suspicions to be confirmed. He didn't want the android to leave.

 

 _When the morning comes_  
_When we see what we've become_  
_In the cold light of day we're a flame in the wind_  
_Not the fire that we've begun_

 

Something was off about the Lieutenant. Connor couldn't put his finger on it, but something was wrong, and it made him worry. Things had been going well - exceptionally so, in fact. Connor was the happiest he'd ever been. His and Hank's relationship had grown into a lovely friendship, and while there were times when he longed for more, he was more than happy with what he had.  
But a few months after Connor had moved in, Connor noticed more and more empty bottles piling up around the place, and the lieutenant (who, to the amazement of the entire department, had grown far more punctual with the android's aid) started showing up to work late more and more often, sometimes opting to not show up at all. He didn't broach the topic to the lieutenant at first, opting to wait for the moment, but when he found an empty whiskey bottle in the bath tub, he decided it was time to bring it up.

 

_Every argument, every word we can't take back_

 

Bringing up the topic had been a disaster. Perhaps Connor should have spoken to the detective when he was sober, but those moments seemed more and more infrequent, and what had finally given him the push to speak with Hank had been the fact that he had almost fallen face first onto the corner of the coffee table, and only Connor's swift reflexes had prevented a potentially horrible injury.  
So he had mentioned Hank's lack of punctuality, his increase in alcohol intake, and...

It hadn't gone well.

The lieutenant had lashed out, spitting rather venomous words at him and making him recoil in shock. Hank had called him several rather cruel names in regards to him being an android, interrupting any attempts from Connor to protest, to claim that Hank was not thinking clearly, before demanding to know why he was even here instead of with his "little deviant friends."

Connor did his best not to be hurt. Hank was not necessarily the same man when he was drunk. He helped the lieutenant to the bathroom when it became necessary for him to empty the contents of his stomach, doing his best to gently soothe the man and helping him to bed when he was finished. He called in for Hank the next morning before leaving himself.

 

_'Cause with all that has happened_   
_I think that we both know the way that the story ends_

 

What Hank had said though, it stuck with him, much as he tried to forget. "Why are you even here?" he had demanded. "You should be running around with your little deviant friends, far the fuck away from me."

Why would he want to be away from Hank? Unless. Unless he had misread the relationship between himself and the lieutenant. The thought had made his thirium pump regulator stutter, and he took a breath. What if it wasn't about what Connor wanted, but those words had instead been implying that he wanted Connor out?

Connor had never known Hank to hold back his feelings in regards to those he felt disdain for, but.

But.

 

 _Then only for a minute_  
_I want to change my mind_  
_'Cause this just don't feel right to me_

 

Selfishly, perhaps, Connor pushes the thoughts aside. No. It had simply been the alcohol talking. If Hank wanted Connor out of his home, he would have made it abundantly clear even without the alcohol. He had miscalculated, he had to have. Something else was bothering the lieutenant, but what was it?

He hated seeing the lieutenant like this. Merely a couple of weeks before, Hank had been the brightest Connor had ever seen him, and even Detective Reed had commented on how much happier he seemed.

Connor wanted that back.

(In the back of his mind, a thought popped up - if he wanted Hank happy again, maybe he should....)

 

 _I want to raise your spirits_  
_I want to see you smile but_  
_Know that means I'll have to leave_

 

Connor stored the thoughts deep inside. He wasn't going anywhere. He needed to help Hank. He would help Hank.

But what would the cost of that be?

 

 _Know that means I'll have to leave_  
_Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_  
_I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier_

 

It had been a long fucking day, and Connor was more than ready to retreat to his bed, covered in a puppy comforter that he knew Hank had meant as a joke but adored anyway, and fall into standby mode for a few hours. But he knew that the minute he walked through that door, Hank would be on the other side, angry that he had gotten himself into trouble again - without any back up.  
"What the fuck were you thinking, Connor!?" Hank demanded, more sober than Connor had seen him in a good while (four weeks, six days, seventeen hours, five minutes, and three seconds, four seconds, five seconds...), and more angry as well.

It had been a red ice bust involving androids, and Connor had been alone, having just happened to stumble upon it while investigating another homicide with Detective Reed. He had called for backup, but then it was revealed that the androids had taken a captive, and were planning on killing her. Backup never would have made it in time, and Detective Reed was just far enough away that even he wouldn't have been able to help, so he charged in alone, using the element of surprise to his advantage.

He had almost died.

Detective Reed had arrived in time to find him in the middle of a shootout, the captive with him behind a couch and freshly out of ammo. Several of his biocomponents had been critically damaged, and a shutdown was imminent.

If help had arrived a mere forty-two seconds later, Connor would have been shut down - and now that androids were considered human, a part of that was that they didn't get to come back if they were damaged beyond repair. There was no more memory transfer, if Connor was killed, he was gone.

And that terrified Hank. The idea of losing the android that meant so much to him scared him, and he reacted the best way he knew how - with anger.

 

 _When the evening falls_  
_And I'm left there with my thoughts_  
_And the image of you being with someone else_  
_Well, it's eating me up inside_

 

The argument was nasty, neither side willing to budge on their perspective - Connor believed he had done the right thing, saving that girl, while Hank countered that if Connor had died he wouldn't have saved anybody, and wouldn't in the future - and eventually Hank turned his back on the android with a snarl, going for the cabinet and grabbing a bottle of whiskey before retreating to his room.

Connor sat in his own room, his LED circling a bright red. His stress levels were nearing eighty percent, he needed to calm down. But how was he supposed to do that when Hank was so furious with him, and there was nothing he could do to fix it? He had already apologized, but he wouldn't lie to his partner and say that he regretted it, or that he wouldn't do it again.

He'd be better off without you, with a different partner.

The thought sent an unpleasant chill up his spine. He hated that the idea of Hank having another partner made him sick to his stomach. But...

 

 _But we ran our course, we pretended we're okay_  
_Now if we jump together at least we can swing_  
_Far away from the wreck we made_

 

But Connor had already made a mess of things. He had wanted to help Hank, to make him happy again, but instead he had made things worse. Hank's stress levels were all the higher - high enough that he had gone for a bottle directly in front of him, while usually there was an attempt to hide (likely so that Connor wouldn't stop him) before Connor found the bottle later.

What if Hank did something horrible, all because Connor was selfish? Because he didn't know how to back off?

 

 _Then only for a minute_  
_I want to change my mind_  
_'Cause this just don't feel right to me_

 

Hank regretted everything.

Well, not everything, but a lot of it. He had been too harsh on Connor. He had lashed out because he was afraid, but he may well have just pushed the android away. Images of those hurt doe eyes of his, that flashing red LED, flickered behind his eyelids, which we squeezed tightly shut as he did his best to down the bottle in one go (he didn't succeed).

He had fucked up. Maybe not completely yet, but it was only a matter of time. He needed to say something. Holding back from his partner would only make things worse. He had to tell Connor that he was free to leave if he wanted - he had to do it sober. He had to get it off his chest before he destroyed what they had. He decided he would tell Connor tomorrow, after he had nursed the hangover he was about to inflict on himself, that he was free to leave and do as he pleased - but he would make sure to add that he would like it if Connor stayed.

Or... Or maybe he wouldn't add that.

 

 _I want to raise your spirits_  
_I want to see you smile but_  
_Know that means I'll have to leave_

 

Connor knew what he had to do. He had to leave. He would only make things worse on the lieutenant, he couldn't help him. He would talk to the captain, make sure that he did something for Hank. Sent him to therapy, maybe, just anything to help Hank. Hank would be resentful, sure, but.... Or. Maybe he shouldn't. He shouldn't interfere any more than he already had.

 

 _Know that means I'll have to leave_  
_Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_  
_I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier_

 

He couldn't interfere anymore. He needed to just. He needed to go. Hank would be better off without him around. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he had likely made himself unwelcome in the first place. He had forced lifestyle changes on the lieutenant without his request or consent. Hank had complained, but complied, leading Connor to believe that he moaning about it had simply been just that, but perhaps he should have listened. He had thought he had been helping, but he hadn't been.

And this most recent issue had been one of many. Connor charging into danger without his partner, who was usually drunk or hungover anymore, had become a frequent issue, especially with new android laws being released - with each law to restrain androids, laws to protect them were required as well, and some weren't being released fast enough. It was leading to a lot of criminal charged both against and for androids. Connor wasn't going to be sitting back and relaxing any time soon. There would be plenty of danger that he would be at the forefront of.

Danger he had every intention of facing alone if he had to.

 

 _So I'll go, I'll go_  
_I will go, go, go_

 

Perhaps he was selfish, but he waited another week before coming to his decision. He had to leave. Unbeknownst to him, Hank had made his decision as well.

 

 _So I'll go, I'll go_  
_I will go, go, go_

 

Hank entered Connor's room to find it empty.

 

 _Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_  
_I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier_

 

The lieutenant was relieved when Reed called him the next day about Connor. Hank had never been so glad to hear Reed's "nickname" for Connor as he had when he heard the blessed words, "Hey, I found your tin can," as he had when they came through the speaker of his phone.

But it could never be that easy, and Hank's heart sank when the other detective's voice cracked as he added, "He's not in the best shape, Anderson, you need to get here."

It was a miracle Hank didn't get a ticket getting to the address that Reed gave him.

 

 _Even though I might not like this_  
_I think that you'll be happier, I want you to be happier_

 

Connor hadn't wanted to leave - hated the idea, really, of leaving the place that had become his home, but he reasoned with himself (illogically) that Hank would be better off this way. It would be better for him. He would be happier.

Unfortunately, his escape had resulted in crossing some rather unfriendly passerby.

 

 _Then only for a minute_  
_I want to change my mind_  
_'Cause this just don't feel right to me_

 

It was sheer luck that Markus had happened to be within the connection range of Connor's plea for help. Markus, Simon, and North had just happened to be in the area when the RK800's voice hit Markus. _Please, please I need help._

Even in his mind, Connor's voice had sounded metallic, distorted. It was hard, but Markus managed to get a location from the other android while Simon got ahold of the police.

By the time they got there, Connor was all but in pieces and barely functioning, but he was alive. Reed arrived soon after to find Markus comforting Connor as best he could. Connor's left leg was missing, his right connected by mere wires. His right arm was in a similar state to his right leg, connected at both the shoulder and the elbow by wires alone. Patches of pale white were visible on his face, and the skin covering his hands had completely retracted. His clothes were tattered, and it was obvious that his torso was in a similar state to his face.

There was blue everywhere.

Reed had been the first to arrive, and Markus quickly informed him that while he had mostly avoided critical injury to crucial biocomponents, he would need thirium if he were to survive - and, he added, several biocomponents were damaged, and would need replaced.

The ambulance, North informed them, was still ten minutes out, with traffic making the trip difficult.

Reed called Hank (warning him to take the back roads) and Hank was there in record time. "Connor! Connor, fuck, what did they do to you?" Hank dropped down next to the android. Markus gave him a sad look, then moved back to give them space. Reed saw the look on his face as he looked to North and Simon, and he saw the latter two's faces fall.

For everything they had seen, they didn't have much hope for this situation.

 

 _I want to raise your spirits_  
_I want to see you smile but_  
_Know that means I'll have to leave_

 

Connor opened his eyes, looking up at Hank with a pained expression. He was in pain, he was hurting, and there was nothing Hank could do about it. Connor lifted his left arm, his only functioning limb, and opened his mouth. His vocal component whirred uselessly for a moment before his voice came in with a hum of static. " - sorry, I'm s - rry for eeev-rything - " he choked out, coughing heavily after.

"No, shh, shhh, it's okay. It's okay, you didn't do anything wrong." Hank caught Connor's hand in both of his own, squeezing the pale material gently. "You're going to be okay Connor, we're gonna get you some help, okay?"

"Shhhhhhhhould-d-d-d have talked to you - " Connor attempted to continue, his LED circling a bright red. "Connor," Hank said, reaching down to cup the android's cheek. "Connor, please, save your energy. Shouldn't you be rerouting power or some shit to major whatever the fucks?" That got a smile out of the android, and a weak, stuttery laugh. "I haaaave already done what I c-c-c-c-c-can to conserrrrrrrrrrrve as much energy and thir-r-r-r-rium as I can." The weak smile leaves and Connor looked distressed again.

"B-b-b-b-ut I'm s-s-s-s-s-s-ssssssorrrrrrry, I should ha-ha-ha-have talked to you, should have told you - "

"No, you don't get to fuckin' tell me anything right now, Connor. If it's important, it can wait til you're better. You're not telling me anything because you think you're on your deathbed."

"I w-w-w-was sc-c-c-c-cared, did-did-did-didn't know what to say - "

"Connor, please - "

"Hank."

 

 _Know that means I'll have to leave_  
_Lately, I've been, I've been thinking_  
_I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier_

 

The detective glared down at his partner, ignoring the tears in the corners of his eyes. He could hear sirens in the distance, but Connor's LED was flickering. "You're not dying on me today, you got that? Or any day. If you go, fucker, I go, and then who's going to take care of Sumo? You're not fucking dying on me, Connor."

"Wa-wa-wa-want-t-t-ted to make you ha-ha-ha-ha-happy again. (static) - ad-d-d-d to lea-lea-leave, - ould have talked t-t-t-to - ou." Connor's voice was getting worse, his LED flickering more rapidly. "Connor, please - "

" - idn't want t-t-to go, - nted to stay wi - ou. - appy with y-y-you, I - " Speaking was a struggle, but he had to get this out before -

"Don't you fucking say another word until you've gotten your ass fixed up by whatever the politically correct term for an android doctor is you sorry bastard, you don't get to do this to me." Connor looked up at Hank. The lieutenant's grip was tight and his face was wet. He'd never seen the man cry before, not sober - not over him.

"Hank, I-I-I-I-I love y - " Hank covered his mouth. "I already told you when you can talk again," he hissed as the ambulance finally, finally pulled up, thankfully several minutes ahead of their scheduled time. Connor's gaze met Hank's.

The light of his LED flickered black.

 

 _So I'll go, I'll go_  
_I will go, go, go_

 

"You're a fucking bastard, you know that?" Hank said when he arrived home with Sumo to find Connor on his couch. Connor looked up at him with those lovely brown eyes and smiled.

Hank hadn't been allowed to accompany Connor in the ambulance. Simon had gone with instead, while Markus had escorted Hank back to his home and North had gone back to Jericho to ensure things hadn't caught fire. Markus had gotten Hank safely home and watched after him for the night, gently coaxing the detective to take care of himself. Hank finally convinced the bastard to go home when he took Sumo for a walk. Markus had looked ready to protest, but something had changed his mind, and apparently it was this.

Connor, sitting on his couch, looking far too comfortable in Hank's sweatpants and hoodie.

"You're a right fuckin' bastard and if it weren't for the fact that it would scare Sumo I'd kill you myself for nearly making my fuckin' heart give out." Hank unleashed Sumo, who immediately ran to Connor's side, licking his face and wagging his tail happily.

"I owe you my apologies, lieutenant," Connor said softly, gladly giving Sumo the loving pets the dog desired. "We should talk."

"Yeah. We really fuckin' should.

* * *

 

Talking turned out to be a lot easier than either of them thought it would be. "I care about you, lieutenant, and I want you to live a long and happy life. I thought that perhaps you'd be happier without me, as your stress seemed to build directly in relation to me."

"I'm an idiot, and I have trouble talking about my feelings. I was worried you might be staying with me out of some sort of obligation, and I wanted to let you know you were free, but then I got scared that you would actually leave and I... I didn't want that. So I thought pushing you away would be easier for both of us. But then you started getting more reckless, and I was worried I'd lose you in a different sense, and..."

"Hank, I didn't choose to stay because I thought I had to. I want to be here, with you and Sumo. Living here, I've... I've been happy. With you."

It was a long conversation, but they both felt significantly better when it was over. Hank, having long since sat down next to the android, wrapped an arm around the other. "God, we're both a pair of stubborn idiots, aren't we?" He asked softly, shaking his head with a smile. "Let's make an agreement right now to just tell each other everything."

"I am almost certain that neither of us could keep that agreement, Lieutenent. But... I do have something to tell you." Hank looked down at the android inquisitively, and Connor looked back at him.

"It's what I was trying to say... to say before." Hank gave him a squeeze and a nod to tell him to continue.

"I... I want to tell you how I feel, Hank. About you. I care for you, deeply, and after thinking on my feelings further, I...." He exhaled. "I enjoy being around you, Hank. I enjoy being close to you, and when we are apart I find significant processing power focused on you, what you might be doing, how you might be doing, if you made sure to eat lunch or if you would enjoy seeing whatever I may be looking at at the time. I worry about you when we're apart. I feel... I feel happy, when we're together, whether we're working together or simply sitting on opposite ends of the couch doing something individually."

Another breath, and Connor said, not meeting Hank's gaze, "I spoke with several others, and... I've come to the conclusion that I love you, Hank - that I'm in love with you, that I care for you deeply as more than a friend."

Hank almost didn't know what to say. "Are you sure?" he asked, his heart quivering with anticipation. "You're not..."

"It is not a sense of obligation, Lieutenant, I assure you. Hank, I.... I'm certain that this is what that feeling is. I want to be with you, Hank." His voice quivers, and Hank noticed his LED go from blue, to yellow, to red. He was scared, Hank realized. And hell if Hank didn't understand that.

"I love you too, Connor. I was afraid to admit it. The people I love don't have a tendency to stick around, and I... I don't want to lose you, Connor."

"You won't," Connor whispered, his LED going back to yellow, then blue as he looked up at Hank with those perfect eyes. "You won't lose me - in any sense. I want to be with you. And... I'll be more careful in future cases. I know that there have been too many close calls lately, and I know that it scares you - "

Hank cut him off by cupping his cheek. "I know." He gave a gentle smile, then leaned down, gently brushing his lips against Connor's. He half expected Connor to pull away, but instead the android kissed back, pulling Hank close with a swiftness that surprised him.

"I love you, Hank," he breathed when he finally pulled away. Hank gave a warm smile.

"I love you too, Connor."

 

 

 _I want to raise your spirits  
_I want to see you smile and__  
Maybe I don't have to leave.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, feel free to let me know if there's a correction to make somewhere or just how you felt about the story!


End file.
